Prison Song: an Upstate Requiem in 3 to 10

sam I am · Number of posts: 476 Registration date: 2007-01-08

I watch you grow visiting room gray over the years like casual lifelong family friends who meet to feed our defeated one winged pigeons in a concrete park
in the land of pp numbers, ugly skipper sneakers and orange jumper summers, from february to commissary
I watch bawling babies and weeping baby mothers leave single file trampling upon the teardrops of each other.
&...you... look... so... very.... unworried
like it dont matter no more
i tire of flashbacking and back tracking over conversations in which by birthright I was obligated to school you. Pass knowledge to you and swallow the taste that comes from knowing that you really never were interested in hearing it.
Every man has to L.O.X. (live off his own experience.) Who am I?
How’d you say it? “Just a broke nigga, a financial joke nigga!
You don’t know nothing about the way I flip this coke, nigga!
Move this dope, nigga."
Even with one finger on the trigger you stacked your green backs quicker and probably figured,
"Save that bullshit your talkin' or tell your story walkin' and come back when your pockets get bigga, nigga.”
Who am I? Just I.
Your big brother. Same father same mother.
but, lookin back what impact could i have had on the baw
when he done seen me do everything 'cept time before?

My dilemma? Knowing full well I can't pay your ransom bail while trying to explain to my nephew that his daddy is anywhere in the world but jail. Again.
So, I lie.
"Little man don't cry he'll be back soon. Your dad is in Secret Agent Army School!" and wipe the tears from his eyes like I used to do you and then I hide my eyes and cry, too."

“Your honor, today I stand before ya’ with cases in the Philadelphia county and bench warrants as far away as California, bold enough to sell coke, dope and the like ,bust my gun but dumb enough to come to court without the legal counsel of a paid lawyer.
I will not filibuster or disrespect the commonwealth with unfounded transparent rhetoric and endless minute pandering or legal jargon, I have come only to plead guilty and accept the plea bargain."

_________________
"Ize married now!"- Mrs. Kisha Gaymon - original version by Suge Avery

kriticool · Number of posts: 124 Registration date: 2007-03-04

.
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"...Your dad is in Secret Agent Army School!"
Dope verse... that's anything but a "white" lie ...reminds me of one of them "Great~grands Excuses. Stuff that gets said during war time is incredible! I call it executive privilage

Yeah, this drop here; I think it braided together the characters real nice. I liked how it layered the storyline(s) with loss and a sense of warning. That's important. I liked this weave.. It was natural, no frills...kinda sad tho; but strengthening at the same time. Could've lived without the tri color font... but who's quibblin'
Writes like this could change things.

Nice drop.
.
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sam I am · Number of posts: 476 Registration date: 2007-01-08

thanx. i used the colors to emphasize the change in character and perspective. for clarity.
sad but true story.

_________________
"Ize married now!"- Mrs. Kisha Gaymon - original version by Suge Avery

sheeks84 · Number of posts: 96 Localisation: Philly Registration date: 2008-02-25

I would never critique this poem just for critique-poems sake. I know the truth of the matter, be it your truth or someone elses, and I already know you're one of the most talented wordsmiths I've ever met, so I just want to say, as usual, you're told a story with magnificant imagery and compassion. This is more than just a tri-colored poem.
Thanks Sam.

glory · Number of posts: 731 Localisation: over philly Registration date: 2007-01-07

That last line holds a lot of personal meaning for me.

M.A.P. · Number of posts: 380 Registration date: 2007-11-20

You are a very talented wordsmith. I felt this piece. Thank you for sharing. Like a Star @ heaven

sam I am · Number of posts: 476 Registration date: 2007-01-08

Awww..are yawl tryin' to have a special moment with me??
BOPP! Sad

BOPP!

BOPP!

BOPP!

Homey dont play that!! clown

seriously though. thank you for the comments and critiques. i appreciate the fact that it was felt by yawl for different reasons. its really a long poem that i broke down into three parts for the board's sake. (my pieces are usually longer than train smoke).
there is a hurt that comes from setting a bad example that may lead others down the wrong path and then changing route yourself.

_________________
"Ize married now!"- Mrs. Kisha Gaymon - original version by Suge Avery

Tizzy Lizz^ · Number of posts: 2317 Localisation: Illadelph Registration date: 2007-01-03

this poem is real.

reminds me of visiting family members. the glass divider, the phone, time being up...contact visits, taking pictures, time being up.

the_whisper · Number of posts: 315 Registration date: 2007-01-23

Hey I liked this piece. Except the type color of the last part. Man damn. My eyes My eyes Shocked