In high school, I dated this guy named Tony. ...*Description removed because I'm a punk, lol...ghostreaders*

So, that was high school. In about 2001-2004..I was in a beautiful relationship with somebody...that coincidentally looked just like Tony. (!!!) It used to freak me out. I didn't want to, but I actually told him about it...like, "I'm sorry but it spooks me that you look like him"

So recently, some guy I see around a lot (but it was just always bad timing (bad hair day, corny outfit on, bad mood, in a rush)- and I never made time to stop and talk)...well over the weekend he initiated a conversation. And lo and behold, we have crazy chemistry, all the right things in common - BUT DAMMIT - brothaman looks just like Tony!!! (but just a lot better)

I'm sorry. I don't think I can do this - again?!
Do you think, subconsciously I'm trying to get "tony" back vicariously through other people? Or maybe these are the types I just naturally attract? Sometimes, I will go out of my way to avoid people that look like him too...

Now my friends that never saw Tony...say that I keep going for / attracting the guys that look like the 2001-2004 boyfriend (and I'm thinking - no actually he looks like someone before him).

I have dated other types, but it just seems like the long term situations have only worked out with the "tony" dudes. lol

I'm older now and SO not into physical attributes...but it seems that even still, here comes another Tony.

Q: Do you have any similar experiences?

*edited to correct the years 2001-2004

Im looking forward to being really cool friends.

When you see these guys that look like Tony is your first thought "damn, he looks good" or do you think about Tony?

It sounds like that particular look is just attractive to you. Still, once you're with the guy, if his looks keep making you think of a past relationship, that might not be the healthiest thing for the current relationship.

..and you know...I don't think type is found in look, but more in things we can't physically see. Things we feel, you know?

That's why it puzzles me that these commonalities keep showing up.

(possibly i'm in denial?)

maybe you're just attracted to a 'type'. nothing wrong with that. is the 8th tony the guy you didn't want to approach?

Nope (its only been about 3 tony's, just ran into a bunch of them)...but actually this is another dude I was playing the "i caught you looking" game with (not the one mentioned in the "how come" thread...crazy thing is he peeped it (and since I met him, he recounted every time he "caught me looking"....at least its mutual.

Cool thing that he intiated because I retired from approaching. I just think I'd rather let a man be masculine and do the hunting and step to me. If they don't have the spine to do that, then ain't my type then.

But I'm just digging friendship- PERIOD. I don't even want anything else (too bad this encounter didn't happen sooner).

I have some stuff to work on spiritually and truthfully, I don't even want to be bothered romantically anymore with someone that doesn't share the same spiritual beliefs. Saves me a lot time...I know I'm difficult and this is a recipe for staying single....but hey, its where I'm at...today.

There are certain things that have attracted me to men. Looking back I notice a lot of recurring themes. Similar interests maybe, or similar personality traits. Some guys even had similar features. Maybe I just seem to attract certain guys or am attracted to some of the same things. I think that there has definitely been a progression, like Swayyah was saying. Like I would learn what I liked, what did or did not work... too little this, too much of that... and eventually I found someone in whom all the essential elements were in the right balance for me. But no, none of my bf's or crushes really looked like each other. I've been real diverse in the sizes, shapes, and shades of the guys that interested me.

i was joking with the number.

when i date it's normally the same person but in different people and it's normally my opposite: brown-dark skin, athletic, not nerdy but good with numbers, doesn't curse, church going, and patient. there's probably a lot more, but those are the main things. i like the balance they bring and i learn things from them. i couldn't be with someone like me with a lot of similar interests, i think it would bore me.

What?! And I'm tripping all over my words tryna explain to your joking self!


Since then, I learned that we have the same life path number...interesting. We do not match spiritually (bummer ). Good friend tho, and great conversation.