LOL..I am not denying the "realness". Traycee, being "real" can't always be your rationale or excuse for being wrong. Also, I am not saying that they are wrong, just shallow for allowing aesthetics to enter in the equation. China uses economic reasons for it's refusal to assist in the stopping of the Darfur genocide. Hey? They are just being real...but that doesn't make it right. Because we all know that you shouldn't use money as a rational in that equation.

Money in a life and death situation = stupidity
Aesthetics in a life and death situation = stupidity.


Math doesn't lie...

I always think it's a little naive when people push the whole "looks doesn't matter" thing. Of course they matter. We care what people think of us, we want our significant other's to be physically attracted to us, and looks are the first thing we have to go on when we see someone we don't know. These are all legitimate issues and someone who worries about them is not necessarily immature. True, "real" does not mean right, but in this case, to say that they don't matter or only matter to immature people is not real.

Recently, a friend of mine said that he was too immature to have kids yet in front a large group of people. All of the women with kids chimed in to let him know that that maturity doesn't come until the kids come. Having children is a lifechanging event. Just as we men can never completely understand, a woman won't completely understand until she has them. Or that's what I heard anyway.

Tizzy - As far as the man issues go, you should never resign yourself to being a single mother before the fact. That is hard as hell, on you and on the kids. It would be selfish to knowingly bring kids into this world without trying to give them the best situation you can. As far as everything else goes, if you're with the right partner, it all works itself out. Priorities change and stuff.

Wow, first, let me just say that I admire your honesty. I think the figure is something women are forced to examine all the time. I think most pregnant women are so worried about “getting their bodies back “after having kids. The thing is that we live in a society that doesn’t really value fertility. It is something that is taken for granted. That’s one major difference I noticed in South Africa. I felt wanted and desired because of my shape and my hips and my stretch marks. I have a “childbearing figure” and that is attractive in a place where children are everything. I think it’s fine to be concerned about your figure. I think it is something else to let your life’s decisions be ruled by how you’ll look on the other end of things. Especially when your body will not be this way later. You have to start thinking about the real meaning of making a sacrifice, creating a life. in the end, when you are 70 and have no figure to rest of the world, will you be content without grandchildren or children? Or, will you wish that you had a child.

I can only say that I was very selfish with my time and myself before I had my daughter. Oh, I was so independent, so this, so that. but I know now that life had a lot less meaning before her. this is not to say that this is the same for you, or anyone else, but for me. it’s just a whole ‘nother plane of existence. I could give a sh*t less who appreciates it. I see divinity in what I’m doing everyday. In packing lunches and tying shoelaces. In teaching about clouds and insects. I’m ushering some being through the world. that is much bigger than what my belly looks like. Think about it, would you base a major life decision on whether or not your dress would get dirty? I don’t see physical appearance as being much more than clothing. Because the truth is that it won’t last forever. Those same men will be in the strip club looking at “perfect” bodies when you hit your 40’s or 50’s. even if don’t have children, you body will be no competition for 20 year old college girls. There will always be someone out there with a better body than yours. Even supermodels get dumped on by their boyfriends. The other thing to think about is how much what so many men want what is unrealistic.

I know so many women who did not breastfeed because they were worried that their breasts would droop. And I just thought wow, even though that is the best start for your child. Even though all the nourishment they need is in that milk (not cow’s milk, not formula), you choose not too because you want to wear a halter top next summer. Wow. even though it is a proven fact that breastfed babies are not sick as often as formula-fed ones. Even though, formula fed babies spit up a lot more than breastfed ones and are more prone to infections, etc. wow. I think it is all about perspective. I was blessed to have a mom who never put anyone before us. Never. And to this day, I appreciate that with all my heart. I see it and acknowledge it and I will when she can no longer take care of herself…when all of her peers have passed away, she’ll have me and I don’t care about her stretch marks.

call me immature dammit...but i'm sorry, 'tit sag' just sounds so damn funny.