Do people even know how to date anymore?

Situation. I met this nice guy that I find very attractive, humorous, etc. Long story short - he probably has no problem with the ladies. Anyway, we talked on the phone once...decent conversation...and I told him I would call him the next day. I didn't get a chance too because my cell crashed. He called me about three times after that within 2 days. I left the proper information on my voicemail asking people to leave their phone numbers because I don't have access to my cell phonebook.

I go to check my messages. Over his 3 messages - none leaving his phone number...each message becoming progressively irritated with the fact that I didn't call him back. Then by the 3rd message he is talking about cutting me off...and some other stuff.


I'm thinking...wow, what happened to patience? flexibility? Part of me is thinking is this man crazy? Who just snaps like that? I hesitated, but I did follow-up because I wanted to be on good terms in the event I run into his crazy behind during the workdays. His issue was that I didn't keep my word. I'm like did your nut ass even listen to the voice message?

I just thought it was a bit much. I'm guessing that he's probably used to women being all over him and the nerve of me not to call him back...or maybe he's just...

Its smoothed out since then, but I do notice that he holds me to every word. Do I have a problem keeping my word? Am I just not used to people taking everything so literal.

"I'll send you an email"
"When?"
"Uhh tonight" [thinks about earlier run-in]..."Well before the end of the week"
*hears huffing on the other end*
"Well you know when I get a chance...as soon as I get a chance" [thinking...God forbid I don't keep my word about sending an email]

I don't know about ya'll, but I can't be coming from a demanding job...to some demanding date...that's just too much pressure. Be easy man... What happened to going with the flow?

This is the kind of person you cannot become intimate with...mess around and become a stalker. Damn, he was fine too.

moving on...behind number 2 ....

**and that's the end of these types of rants...I promise I'll start posting some positive experiences

ummm . . . in my opinion - crazy

- Maybe he never really listened to your voicemail message, but it's kind of strange to be leaving messages about cutting people off and stuff when all you've done is met them once and had a single phone convo. If he's getting that angry that easily when he doesn't know you, what would it be like after he's more familiar with you and you guys have the baggage that always builds up over time?

- That whole huffing when you tell him you won't be e-mailing him right away ain't so good. Like you said, he sounds real demanding.

People tend to be more easygoing, patient and flexible in (at least) the first few weeks of a new relationship. To have someone acting like that from jump is a bad sign

That's not a good sign for you.

I think he's used to being given immediate attention by women. I have a friend just like that who's used to getting anything and everything he wants from women and has no patience. His motto is from one of Biggie's songs, "I don't chase 'em, I replace 'em..."

what they said,tizz.
and trust me - it gets no better.

i'm with the guys on this one tizzy. i was tryna give him the benefit of the doubt, but then i got to the email part. it will only get worse from here. cut his ass off quick! he's waaaay to demanding and ya'll haven't even went out yet!

plus, i think that he may see something in you and he's trying to latch on hard.

Bounce him like a rubber ball. I mean to me there's nothing wrong with holding people to their word but damn...dude acts like he doesn't have much else to do. A brotha gotta have atleast some business of his own or he won't respect space and/or passions outside of just yall. On top of that...in the first few 'interviews' with a person you're only meeting their representative the majority of the time. If the rep is like that....imagine what the client is like.

Thanks for confirming. I'm in the fade away phase. Trying hard not to get smart with him...cause people are too crazy these days...best thing is to part peacefully.

Okay...now what about this one. Behind Door # 2. This guy is my friend. I like him though...but am I wrong for being secretly offended that he pulled out a Vibe magazine with a butt-naked Ciara on the cover...while we were on the train? Rush hour. There was a teen sitting in the same seat with us. He thumbs through the pages...the article on her is looking like Penthouse or something.

I had 2 options.

A - let him know right then and there that I'm offended and mess around and draw more attention by having a dialogue, or public disagreement about him looking at a book like that all out in the open...during rush hour....After all, co-workers might actually be sitting on this same train.

B - pretend it doesn't bother me. Compliment what I can about Ciara (I do like her music)....besides, i think he does certain things to get under my skin. And just tell him I was offended later?

I pretended it didn't bother me, but when I got home the more I thought about it....I thought to myself...is that disrespectful? Does it matter that it was VIBE magazine? is it bad judgement to be looking at a naked girl article on a crowded train? Is it a tasteless thing to do...careless even? Or am I just an old grandma?

Am I petty for wanting to distance myself from him? I mean what the hell else is he going to pull out in the public?

I think whether or not you should tell him you're offended depends on what your relationship with him is like. Same with whether you should say something now or later. How will he react in each situation? Which reaction is preferable to you.

As far as distancing yourself, that's fair if you're really worried about how he might act in public, though maybe it's a little quick to make that judgement from 1 event. Also, if you're good friends, you should let him know why you're distancing yourself.

shoot me...but i can't be mad at ciara. i'm not offended by it, but it is tasteless. if i was the editor, i would have honestly chosen a side shot so you don't see the butt crack. but they didn't and vibe has to do what it has to do for sales.

i don't think he should be dumped or lose cool points for whipping this out on the train. he may not have thought that anything was wrong with it. why should anyone care what he's reading? did he make a big deal out of how great she looked and make you and others look at it?

and trust me, that same teen can go into walmart, the supermarket, or the corner store and pick that magazine up along with king and cosmo offering 101 ways to make him scream...

i liked m.a.p.'s suggestion. i alos agree with A_St8, if you were offended you should say something to him.